Bad Burrito, the TV Series

These days success is all about diversifying, so I have decided to take up another enterprise. I have decided to write my own TV series. After watching some of the stuff on TV I decided there can’t be too much to it and it doesn’t have to have much for content. All you have to do is have an idea and the farther it is from real life, all that much better. Shoot, if the networks don’t pick up your idea, you can finance it yourself, put it out on the inter-net and promote it to death.

So, without further ado, here is my idea.  The show will be called “Bad Burritos” and it will be a tale of corporate greed. The show will be set in the corporate office for a chain of restaurants. The chain will be called Chip-Ole’ and they will specialize in quasi Tex-Mex. The first episode will set the series and will start out in the board room as the CEO and the rest of the management team are discussing their declining sales.

The management team acknowledges that the world of Tex-Mex is very crowded. They need something that will set them apart and bring their restaurants more attention. Suddenly, the CEO jumps up from his chair like a bolt of lightning; he has a brilliant idea that will make their sales go up without the need to improve their food. They will position themselves as the eating place with a “social conscience”.

The second in command chimes in,” let’s proclaim our food healthier and more wholesome because we only use anti-biotic, hormone free meat and somehow make everyone believe it is much better for the environment. We will divert the public’s attention from our food and blame the farmers and ranchers for producing a dangerous product. We will start a crusade to change the way farmers and ranchers do their jobs.”

Suddenly a junior vice president at the end of the mahogany table speaks up, “Do you really think the public will go for us singling out hardworking farmers and ranchers? My uncle farms and he is one of the most consciences people I know. I don’t think he would do anything to hurt us.”

“Good point”, says the CEO, “We will target only the larger farms and ranches and say we support only small family farms. We will make the farms and ranches that chose to incorporate seem like they only want to make money no matter what. The public doesn’t like big corporations and we will play on their fear.”

“But boss aren’t we a large corporation? Won’t we be cutting our own throats? My uncle’s farm is a corporation but it is just him and my two cousins, are we going to say they are evil?” says the same junior vice president very meekly.

“I think we should put out misleading information, twist a few unpublished studies to say what we want them too and hire a couple of “experts” to back up our claims.” Says the marketing director, “Maybe we can dress our CEO up in a cardigan sweater and make the public think he is just the guy next door. We will make our campaign glitzy and glamorous. We will use humor and cartoons, but remember to keep it short, it’s not like we have facts to back us up. Keep it short and entertaining, they won’t know what hit them.”

The same junior vice president offers one last thought, “But it seems at best that we are slanting the truth to support our claims and really we are making things up just to sell our food. We are tearing down good hardworking people just to sell more burritos. How are we going to sleep at night?”

“Well, young man, I intend to sleep very well on my silk sheets at my weekend house in Miami.” Sneers the CEO, “But you are starting to get the idea. We don’t have to tell the truth, we are just selling burritos not the truth. Oh sure if we do actually change the way food is raised, we might add to a growing world hunger problem but who cares, we will be rich!”

In the back of the room, Annie (the management team hired Annie, the owner of a local diner, to cater their board meetings) is secretly taping the conversations and will release it to the internet.  When those tapes hit the airways the management team of Chip-Ole’ must launch a public relations campaign to reclaim their “good name” while changing public opinion.

I must say, I think my idea for a TV show would be very intriguing. We can have a humorous look at the world of corporate greed, where CEOs say anything to make a buck. I know, it is farfetched and probably will never be picked up. After all what does a farmer know about running a corporate restaurant chain?