Normal Life

Don’t get me wrong, I love this occupation I picked out and the corresponding lifestyle that comes with it. I cannot imagine my life without agriculture, my livestock or crops in it. However, there are days that make wonder about my sanity and just exactly why I do what I do. Those days usually come during calving and lambing season. I often ask myself during one of those days what it would be like to be “normal”.

One of those days happened just this past weekend. We had hit one of those rough patches that often occur with lambing season. We had various problems that necessitated that we start chores early and made it no fun to do them. I assume everyone has had those stretches when you dread going out and seeing what has gone wrong, it was one of those times.

To make matters worse the weather had taken a turn and it was well below freezing with a gusty wind that made things even more miserable. Saturday morning, I got up early (code for I was worried about what I was going to find outside) and made a pot of coffee. I turned the tv on and watched the news. I suppose I thought somehow watching the weather and learning how bad it was outside would help when I ventured outside.

The meteorologist talked in graphic detail about how cold it was outside and that it would be better to stay indoors if possible. She then went on to say just how good a day this would be to sleep in, stay inside and watch tv. Right then and there thoughts started entering my mind of how things might be if I was a “normal” person with a “normal” job. I could ignore the bitter cold outside, sleep late, enjoy a leisurely breakfast, lounge on the couch and in general ignore the weather. Even better I could find something more fun indoors to do like a movie or a basketball game. I think this is what “normal” people with “normal” schedules do on the weekend, I told myself.

A “normal” life would mean no walking out of my nice warm house on a bitter cold day with that feeling of dread wondering what might await me out in the barns. No wrestling with frozen stuff, worrying over sick animals and enduring stinging winds. The rest of the free world gets to relax on the weekends, not me, I chose to work seven days a week.

Then I remind myself that I grew up not knowing what normal was. People talked about vacations and traveling, and I was curious about what exactly all that was, but I didn’t know any different. As I got older my friends talked about sleeping in on the weekends and being bored and I wondered if I was really “normal”.

I went off to college and soon I got a taste of what a “normal” life was like. Weekends with no plans, no commitments and no where to be. So, this is what the rest of the world is like. I didn’t have to go outside in the dark, I could wait for daylight. I could even decide not to go out if I chose to, my life was my own. For a while it was pretty awesome, I thought I could get used to a “normal” life.

However, I found out that I was not very good at sleeping in and there seemed to be something missing. I even found myself looking forward to doing chores when I came home from school on breaks. Following graduation, I found myself working a semi- “normal” job with semi- “normal” hours in Extension. For the most part I had my weekends off. All this time I had the nagging sensation that something was missing.

When Jennifer and I moved back and started our own cowherd I lost my “normal” life with my “normal” schedule. More than one time while I was working a “normal” job and running cows on the side I remember walking outside, pulling my hood up and wondering why I chose to spend my “free” time doing this.

I don’t know exactly why I chose this, maybe Mom and Dad warped me at a young age and it is all I know, maybe it is something in my DNA, but I cannot imaging a life that did not include braving the bitter cold to see if we had any new lambs or calves. I can’t imagine not accepting the challenge of dealing with frozen, balky machinery and stubborn animals. After all, what would I worry about if I wasn’t stewing over my animals? My kids would not appreciate the extra attention, it might make them more “normal”.

I am sure there will be more moments when I dream longingly for a “normal” life. Those days when things don’t go so well and the weather does not cooperate. However, deep down inside I do know that I would not be happy or content with a “normal” life with a “normal” schedule something would be missing and that would not be “normal”.