The Stages of Halloween

This week is Halloween. I must admit that Halloween is much different now as empty nesters than it was in any other phase of my life. I think the plan is to have chili and wait on the handful of neighborhood kids to come by and trick-or-treat us. Hopefully it is after a full day of harvest and I won’t scare the kids too much in my dust and grease covered clothes and face. Most of all I hope it is a good day and I am not moaning and groaning around sounding like Frankenstein when they come up to the house.

Halloween is one of those holidays that are different depending on which phase in life you are in. I remember when I was single and in college. Halloween was fun, usually there was a toga party, or a costume party of some kind and it was an excuse to have fun. Then when I was in the working world before I was married I was lucky if I remembered to pick up candy, who am I kidding, if I remembered it was Halloween I was doing good. I wasn’t quite as bad as my buddy Vaughn who gave my kids Sonic mints one year when we trick-or-treated him during his bachelor days.

Then came the time when we had kids. I remember their first Halloweens. Why you ask? Mainly because they wore the same costumes and we cared enough to take pictures.  We have pictures of both kids in a dinosaur costume that Jennifer made. I am pretty sure those pictures will surface many times over the years when we need either a cute picture or an embarrassing one. I do have to admit that the kids were cute once upon a time, then they grew up. We limited the number of stops to grandparents, aunts and uncles and close family friends. The candy gathering was limited, and it took forever to get them out of their car seats.

Soon they were old enough to ask to pick their own costumes, sort of. I remember Isaac wanting to be a rodeo clown. That was easy enough for his mother to modify some Wrangler jeans, buy a crazy wig and paint his face. He also made appearances as Geronimo, a cavalry soldier and Popeye (when one of his best friends was Olive Oil). Tatum was a witch, Indian Princess (we did recycle when we could) and Hannah Montana. Our kids learned at an early age that when your mom is handy with a sewing machine you have cool costumes and not the plastic ones you buy at Wal-Mart. This was the best time because we could hit more stops (no car seats), gather more candy and of course Dad had to make sure it was safe to eat.

The awkward teen years followed. We confronted the delicate issues every parent must face about that time. No not the Talk, but when is too old to trick-or-treat. Halloween was still somewhat of a holiday to them, but no one wants to give candy to a ghost taller than them or a witch that has a deeper voice. It was also tough because they relied on Mom and Dad for transportation. That was about the time my kids discovered the annual Halloween Haunted Hayrack ride in a neighboring town. Mom and Dad could go if we were at the other end of the wagon.

The final stage of Halloween parenthood were the high school years. This was a time we, the parents, spent an evening nervously giving out candy to cute kids all the while hoping the phone did not ring. We were pretty sure our kids would do the right thing, but it was Halloween and the temptations were there. It also made for a late night because they could drive because who was going to be able to sleep with a teenager out on the road. Those were the spookiest Halloweens ever.

Now as empty nesters with kids in college it is much more relaxing. Not because I think they are going to stay at home, but I guess maybe it is out of sight out of mind. It is probably more along the line that I know they are not going to use their one call to me for bail. I am certain my kids might have fun, but I trust them to do the right thing.

I enjoyed each phase of Halloween as a parent, but this might be my favorite. You see we buy a big bowl of candy because we want to be the cool neighbor who has great trick-or-treats (and we don’t want our house tp’ed).  Most importantly that means when the last ghost has booed, and the last cowboy has ridden off, there still should be plenty of candy for me to graze on. After all, when it all comes down to it, Halloween is nothing more than an excuse to eat candy.