Let the Kid's Play

Leave it to adults to mess up a good, fun kid’s activity. What activity am I talking about? Take your pick; sports, livestock shows, music competitions; I have even seen it in peddle pull contests. We adults go way beyond coaching, supporting and chaperoning and take over. We have to get involved and take all of the fun out of it.

We treat each game like it is the final game of the World Series and we view our kids as the next Michael Jordan. Often adults stand to the side of a youth event and argue and complain about either the coaching, the umpiring or, in the worst cases, the other youth. Instead of doing what we should and that is being encouraging, supportive, responsible adults encouraging the kids and enjoying the moment. Please don’t think I am absolving myself of any of this, I am as guilty as anyone of being that overzealous parent.

I have seen all of this from three unique perspectives, as paid staff/a volunteer coach, as an official/judge and an involved (and at times over involved) parent. My wish for everyone is that they could see the world of youth activities from each of these vantage points. I promise it will change the way you view youth activities. Let me share with you some observations I have made.

 Youth become involved in activities for one of three reasons; 1) they enjoy the activity, 2) their friends are involved in the activity, and 3) we parents push them to become involved in said activity. I hope if your kids stay involved in anything it is a combination of the first two reasons and not the third. It is OK to push your kids to try different sports and activities, but we parents must recognize that our kids may not have the same talents and interests as we do. It is hard to admit that something we enjoy just may not be something our kids like.

Sports are a recreational activity; recreational activities are something we do for fun. Please don’t take the fun out of sports. One thing I have told my kids is that when a sport ceases to be fun, it needs to cease. I am all for learning how to play the game, learning the fundamentals and finer points and most of all to have an appreciation for the sport, all o f this makes the game more enjoyable. As parents and coaches we need to make sure it is still fun.

Kids look to their parents and coaches as role models and they will follow our lead. I know, this is not exactly an earth shattering observation but it is one we need to be reminded of. Our ethics and sportsmanship directly influence the youth around us. We need to promote the idea of honesty and fair play above all else. This has even greater implications in the livestock show ring where our actions and our children’s actions can directly influence our livelihoods.

The idea of being a good teammate and team first has eroded through the years. I suppose we can thank professional athletics for this. The focus on the super star and winning above loyalty has made their way down into youth sports. There needs to be a level of dedication to the team and to the team’s success above one’s personal achievement. We seem to value a me first, look at me, take care of yourself at all costs mindset. It seems to me that we lose a lot when there is no loyalty to a team or teammates.

Finally, there is far more good in youth sports and activities than bad. I look back at my experiences in sports, 4-H and FFA fondly. I learned a lot in those activities that have benefited me as an adult. I hope when my children are adults they will look back at their involvement the same way. I also know that I enjoy watching my children participate far more than I enjoyed my own participation. There lies the danger.

We must take a long, hard look at ourselves in the mirror and ask if we are doing all of this for the right reason and in the right way. If we falter in any way with our answer then we must take a step back. Finally, please remember, as a responsible adult, to put the focus on positive development and keep fun as a focus in all youth events at all times. If we do that, true success will follow.

Just Say No to Snow in May!

Isaac had his first baseball game a couple of weeks ago. I knew it would be a little chilly so I wore my heavier windbreaker. That was a bad idea. As the evening drug on, the wind picked up and the temperature dropped. Soon I was shivering and several of us parents were discussing breaking up some of the bleachers and starting a bon fire to provide some warmth. However, we all decided one of the best things about spring sports is that the weather does get better later in the season.

A week ago Tatum had a track meet. The temperature was in the forties, learning from my experience I broke out one of my winter coats and brought a pair of gloves. I felt a little silly, after all it was well into April and the calendar said it was officially spring. It wasn’t very long before someone pointed out the flakes of snow in the air. Discussion centered on the fact that normally we would be more worried about sunburn than hypothermia, but surely the track meet next week would be better.

Then this week I watched the weather forecast as I prepared to go out the door to Tatum’s next track meet. Temperatures in the forties with a stiff North wind and wind chill in the low thirties. I dug out my heavy winter coat, a pair of heavy gloves and a stocking cap. It wasn’t enough. Several of us parents discussed the new ice age as we huddled behind the South wall of the concessions stand. It seemed more like football season than track, since each week the weather got progressively colder.

Being cold during my kid’s sporting events is only annoying. A few minutes in the car and a tall cup of coffee remedy the problem quickly. I suspect that my writing about it in this week’s column will most likely solve the problem. By the time you read this temperature will probably be in the eighties and we will be searching for short sleeved shirts. I look forward to that change, we need it.

I will continue to go to the kids games, no matter the temperature, but we really need it to warm up. Ground temperature is nowhere near warm enough to plant corn and the grass is not growing. At least the cold weather has brought us a little moisture. I cling to the hope that maybe the colder than normal temperatures and increased rainfall mean we have broken free of the drought and heat of last year.

I know at some point this cool, wet weather will change and soon I will be complaining about the heat and praying for rain. Please also note that I am not, I repeat not, complaining about the rain. It will taken inches of rain and a lot of mud before I grow weary of precipitation. I am, however, tired of being cold. I know the beauty of Kansas is that if I wait a day it will all change. Well, I am waiting.

Isaac has a baseball game Thursday and I notice that the weatherman is calling for cold temperatures and even a chance of snow. Snow at a baseball game  that will be a new experience. I have already broken out my heaviest coat, heaviest gloves and stocking cap. Where do I go from there?

I guess I will follow the lead of some of my fellow parents and start wearing my bibs. It is a drastic measure and one that I had hoped I wouldn’t have to take. I have not yet washed my bibs and the evidence of calving season is still quite prevalent. I am also just as sure that they really don’t smell all that good, kind of a cross between wet sheep, cow manure and after-birth. Wearing them in public is something I am not real excited about but desperate times call for desperate measures.

So if you happen to be at one of my kid’s sporting events in the next couple of weeks and it does not warm up, I should be pretty easy to spot, and I might be even easier to smell .In any case, I will be the parent standing all by myself downwind of the crowd. Let’s just hope for warmer weather because the alternative is not anything any of us want.