I am Cranky

I am cranky. There I said it. I guess it was finally time to admit to what my family has accused me of for a long time. Call it grumpy, short, surly or down-right grouchy, I probably have been a little hard to deal with the past couple of weeks.  It is also funny how grumpiness seems to be contagious, because the rest of my family has come down with it too.

I can blame some of it on the weather, we haven’t finished planting soybeans and the brome looks like it will be ready soon. The rain keeps coming. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate the rain, I just wish we could get the timing down better.

Some of my crankiness is just an occupational hazard this time of the year. It is busy and there just aren’t enough hours in the day. It happens every year and will dissipate sometime in late June or July or August (or never according to certain members of my family). In any case, I don’t think I am grouchy at all, just focused and busy. OK, so maybe I have been a little short.

I guess it is time to come clean and admit to being grouchy but it is not my fault. Mornings like today do not help my attitude or my blood pressure. This morning dawned bright and sunny after what seemed like forty days and forty nights of rain. I guess I kind of understand how Noah felt when the ark hit dry land. Things were muddy and I had a lot to do. I had my list and my day was planned. Then my family made me cranky.

Jennifer started the morning out gently reminding me of errands that needed run, phone calls that should be made and little things around the house that could be done. Admittedly I might have been a little surly when those suggestions were made, even if all of them were things I had said I would get done tomorrow. Which by the way, is still a day away.

So, with this being the last day of school, I decided to do what all good leaders do and delegate some of the workload to child number two who after today would suddenly have a whole lot more free time. Child number two then reminded me of all her commitments for the summer. Furthermore, if I was going to be that cranky she did not want to help me anyway.

My normally happy, sunny disposition was, admittedly, getting darker by the minute and I may have left the house grumbling about all the things I had to do. It seemed everyone wanted more of my time and I had my own agenda but, poor me, nobody cared about that. That was when I tripped over the old dog who was under my feet. It was not a good time for him to want his ears scratched and a little attention.

The feed bin was about empty and I would need to make feed runs to two different places. All the animals were out of hay and the barn was empty so I would have to haul more hay up. Who needs those unproductive hours of sleep anyway. It was probably a good thing I was by myself because I was really, truly in a grumpy mood. Even I had to admit to that.

I kept telling myself it wasn’t my fault, it was everyone and everything around me that was causing this bad mood. How dare they mess with my schedule and add things to my already cramped calendar. Then, amid my cussing and kicking I was reminded of something I had come across many years ago.

I don’t remember the saying word for word but the gist of it was if everyone around you seems to be causing problems maybe they are not the problem. Maybe that problem is the one common denominator, you. Surely not, I am the picture of organization, perfect time management and good humor. Then it hit me.

It was not Jennifer’s fault I had put everything off until the last minute, she was just trying to help me remember all the commitments I had made. Without her reminding me, I probably would have forgotten some of them and that would have put me in a much worse mood. Tatum was only reacting the way I had reacted to Jennifer when she had added things to my list, why should it be any different for her.

The realization that my bad mood was a direct result of my poor planning was kind of a bitter pill to take but it was medicine I needed. With that I called the dog over, gave him a good scratching behind the ears and patted him on the head. Then I smiled to myself knowing that at least I had made the dog happy. It wasn’t much but at least it was a start.