Bob Evans, My John Wayne

I really like watching John Wayne movies. In fact, there are only a handful of movies I will watch over and over and most of them are movies the Duke stars in. However, there are two of his most classic movies I simply cannot watch. “The Cowboys” and “The Shootist” are two of his best, but I have a hard time watching them and the reason is simple. He dies in both movies and John Wayne is not supposed to die. He is supposed to beat the bad guy and ride off into the sunset. In my world good guys are not supposed to die.

That is what made this week so hard. I was sitting in line at the elevator, reading Facebook when one of my best friend’s daughter posted that her grandfather had passed away suddenly. The news stunned me, and I think I was numb for about a half an hour. The reality didn’t hit me until the drive home and I felt the full weight of the loss. Remember what I said about good guys do not die in my world, Bob Evans was one of those good guys.

In a lot of ways Bob kind of reminded me of John Wayne. He was gruff and tough and didn’t take guff off anyone. He truly was a man’s man and didn’t seem afraid of anything. Bob told it like he saw it, no sugar coating, just the unvarnished truth. I like people like that. I am not ashamed to admit that Bob intimidated me when I first met him. He was this big bear of a man and we were teenagers who need a little fear in our lives to keep us from doing stupid things.

As I got older and I got to know Bob better that fear melted away and I came to know him as one of the nicest, most genuine people I have ever met. I also came to understand that if Bob liked you and considered you a friend, you were family. I never had to, but I am certain that if I had ever really needed help, anywhere, anytime and for anything, I could have called Bob and help would have been on the way, no questions asked.

I believe that our lives and who we are is shaped by all the people we meet. Most of that shaping is done by our parents but there is also a good portion of that molding that comes from other adults we encounter during our growing up. Without a doubt Bob Evans was one of those people in my life.

During high school I spent a good deal of time at Bob and Sandy’s, I am not sure I fully appreciated my circle of friends and their parents. I can truly say that when we were at the Evan’s house we were treated like family. To this day I still remember Bob holding court for us boys with a lot of the advice, wisdom and philosophy. Things that I am just starting to understand and appreciate.

Then came life, jobs and kids and we all drifted apart. It is funny how life does that to you and how you don’t even notice the drift. In any case I went on about my life and every once in a while, I would run into Bob. I could always count on a “Hi Bud, how are you doing?” That greeting was genuine and he truly cared about what I was doing and more importantly how I was doing. The last time I saw Bob was just a few weeks ago. He was walking down main street and gave me a big wave and smile as I passed by.

That night, shortly after I learned of his passing I drove down main street and as I passed by the place I had last saw Bob I wondered why I had not taken the time to pull over and talk to him. Oh, I am sure I was in a hurry to get somewhere for something I thought was very important at the time, if I had only known then what I knew at that moment. I am sure Bob would not have wanted me to stew about that and I am equally sure he would have given me a good ribbing for the lump in my throat and the tears in my eye.

Life is too short and we all should live each day remembering what is important. We need to let people know how they have helped us and how much we appreciate it. I guess real life is kind of like a John Wayne movie. One way or another the good guy does ride off into the sunset. If anyone ever deserved to ride off into the sunset it is Bob Evans. Thanks for everything, I am a better person for knowing you.