Sports, Life and Grace

This past year has been a year of transition. Our youngest graduated from high school and it has been a year of lasts. For the most part I think I have handled it well, there is a time for everything and I am looking forward to our next phase in life. However, some of the lasts have bothered me and the things that have made me sad are a little surprising.

Two weeks ago, Tatum played her last softball game. The end of her softball career was unexpected, and I won’t get into the details, but I was not prepared. I had thought about this being the first summer in fifteen years that I did not have a child playing summer baseball or softball. I guess I had pushed it out of my mind with the thought that I still had a couple more weeks to watch one of my kids in an athletic competition. Maybe the sudden end was good, kind of like pulling a band-aid off.

I have probably put more emphasis on sports with my kids than I should have. However, I am also not going to say that the time we spent on road trips, in motels and at ball parks was not enjoyable. Sure, there were times that it was tough, but for the most part, nothing gave me greater joy than to watch my kids enjoying the sports they loved. That was especially true with Tatum and softball.

She played the game with a full steam ahead, reckless abandon that often left her with dirt on her uniform, holes in her pants and socks that never returned to their intended color. For the record, that was also how she played basketball which led her to only play about half of any game. From t-ball to traveling softball I got great enjoyment out of watching her play and enjoy the game.

Oh, I knew someday it would end but for years we told ourselves that the end would come on a college softball field. While I truly believe that could have been the case, injuries and circumstances led her down a different path. One that she chose, and Dad had trouble accepting even though I know it was the best choice. I find it funny how often she sees things so much clearer than I do. In any case, I was selfish, and I was not ready for softball to end.

I must also say that when the sudden end came, she took it much better than I did. I am so thankful that I attended her last game. We were planting corn and I left the field early not wanting to miss any of the final games, not knowing it would be the final game. What a game the final one was, in four plate appearances she went two for three with a walk, a home run and a single that just barely missed being another home run. It was a great way to end a great career. It just wasn’t when I thought it would be.

I was reminded of how much I was going to miss it all when we started going through old pictures in preparation for her graduation party. The pictures of her swinging for the fences, diving for balls and lined up with her teammates with trophies and medals. However, it was the pictures of her hanging out with her friends, being silly and acting like kids that were the best.

Maybe we put too much emphasis on them, we for sure spent too much money in pursuit of that elusive championship or scholarship. If you look at it in terms of success and games won, it was a waste of time and money. There were a lot of lessons learned from sports, if you put it terms of learning to deal with success and learning how to be part of a team and lessons in leadership, it was worth every single penny.

I suppose as time goes by I will also be able to handle softball and sports being over as gracefully as both of my kids handled it. I know I will get my sports fix this summer, but something will be missing. I am also sure that I will find things to fill the void, maybe I can carry a garden out full-term this year. But I suspect it will be a little sad each time I walk past the bat bags and the bleacher chairs hanging up on the wall.

There is one saving grace to all of this, while sports maybe over for me as a parent, I am not going cold turkey. We do have this summer of 4-H livestock, one more county fair and the state fair to lean on the fence and watch her show her cattle and sheep.  But it is also a warning to you, if I was this kind of a mess over sports, just imagine what I will be like by the end of the show season.