Ike's Last Fair, 14 years in a Flash

It is the night before the fair and all is calm. OK, all is not calm and we are in the final, furious push to tie up the loose ends (i.e. iron shirts, pack clothes, prepare stalls, etc….). One of the last things we have to do is to trim Isaac’s steer this morning. With all of the rush and excitement we have not had time to think about the fact that this is his last county fair as an exhibitor. The past twelve years seem to have passed just as quickly as the last two days.

Isaac actually has been exhibiting at the fair for fourteen years. He started his showing career with a bucket calf at the age of five. When Dad is the county agent and you spend every hour at the fair, it is only natural to start early. My kids have spent every hour of every fair at the fairgrounds and exhibiting a bucket calf at a tender age was the best way to keep them out of Dad’s hair.

Jethro was Isaac’s first bucket calf. He got the name from the Medicine Lodge Peace Treaty Pageant. The cowboys were hanging the cattle rustler Jethro (just a dummy) and for some reason Isaac decided to name his bucket calf after the dummy. I really don’t remember how Jethro did and that probably is a good lesson for all of us going into the fair. The ribbon Jethro earned was not nearly as memorable as the calf and the cute little boy with big ears showing him.

I remember thinking during that fair that we would be 4-H parents forever and it was going to be a long time before we were done with that gig. Now I am on the eve of Isaac’s last fair with the realization that Tatum only has this and two more fairs left, wondering where the time has went. Many times I have told newly minted 4-H parents that they will blink and wonder what has happened to all of the time.

I really don’t remember too many of the trophies and ribbons Isaac has won. I do remember the experiences. I remember Vicious, the heifer, who, in the beginning lived up to her name, and ended up being a really calm, tame heifer. Then there was T-Bone, the steer, and Twinkle Toes, the Suffolk ewe, to name just a few of the many, many show animals that comprised Isaac’s show career.  Isaac has been pretty creative with his animal names over the years but this year’s may be the best. His final steer is named, fittingly, Tuition.

This year Isaac decided to stick with just livestock and has put to rest the tradition of last minute finishes to his other projects. I do not miss putting the decals on a rocket the night before the fair (OK in all fairness that was probably more Grandma Drake than me) or wondering if the paint would dry on the woodworking project. There were many late nights trying to get the exhibiter cards filled out and plans printed. Maybe he learned something about waiting until the last minute to finish projects. Sadly I think he learned he could wait that long and still get it done.

I do miss the conference judging and the wonderful judges we have met over the years. Again, I am not sure if I remember any of the ribbons he received on any of his projects but I do remember the conversations and the friendly tips and encouragement from each judge. Often it was not easy being the Extension Agent’s kid.

This year has been so hectic that I am not sure we have really had much time to realize that we were in the final sprint for the finish line (or more accurately staggering across the finish line of a marathon). I am sure it will sink in at some point this fair or in the days following it. Sure there have been some hard times when it wasn’t much fun, but for the most part, the fair has yielded more great memories and even a few life lessons along the way.

Most importantly, I realized something I have always said is true. Over the past fourteen years Isaac has won a few shows and contests at the Pottawatomie County Fair but I can’t name them or remember which years they were. I can remember the animals, the projects, the friends, leaders, judges and the great stories and they are what is truly most important. Ribbons fade, trophies gather dust and buckles tarnish but the memories and life lessons from the county fair live forever.

Ike's Graduation and My Thoughts

This week is a momentous period at our house, this is graduation week. I know this has been eighteen years in the making but it sure seems to have slipped up on me without any warning. I have told new parents to enjoy each moment because, at some point, you will blink and be staring at the realization that soon you will be empty nesters. It seems impossible to me that Jennifer and I have navigated the first eighteen years with Ike and soon will be sending him off to college as an adult.

Is he ready for college, I am pretty sure he would tell you he is. Are we ready to send him off into the world? Yes, and some days even more than ready, but it is the hardest transition yet. As much as you want them to go out and experience life, as a parent, you still want to protect them from the mistakes, experiences and disappointments that come with life. I have tried to pass some of the wisdom I have gleaned since high school to Ike, but I realize he is probably five to ten years away from appreciating it.

First, enjoy college; it will be some of the best years of your life. You are an adult with all of the privileges and responsibilities it brings. But don’t enjoy it too much. Treat college as a job, be dedicated to your studies and go the extra mile. It may seem like a lot of work now but it will pay off big later on. Any head start you generate now will carry through for the rest of your life. Don’t forget to enjoy the social life, but don’t lose sight of why you are in college. Here is the real secret to college. It is more about the process than about what you learn.

Work toward a career that is a passion rather than an occupation. Enjoying what you do is more important than money. Another secret in life is that if you are passionate about what you are doing, more than likely, you are pretty good at it and success will come. Which brings up another point, patience is a learned skill and not something most people are born with. Stick to what you believe, work toward a goal and don’t give up because success is not happening fast enough.

Learn to sacrifice. I truly believe a lot of my mistakes in life and a lot of the mistakes my generation are making are because we expect everything instantly and we do not want to wait, sacrifice and earn success. The idea of instant gratification is a lot of what is wrong with society today. Something that is earned through dedication and sacrifice is much better than something bought with credit before it is earned (I am not just talking about money and stuff either).

Treat those around you with respect, dignity, kindness and humility, even if you don’t think they deserve it. The old adage of treat others like you would like them to treat you is one of the best rules to live by. Go the extra mile even if that means the respect and kindness are not returned. Remember that life is a team effort and appreciate those around you. Life is really about the relationships you forge with the people around you.

Most importantly, enjoy life; don’t be in a rush to see what is next. Each segment of time, each chapter of life is the best. Don’t spend all of your life looking back at the past chapter and dwell on what you wish you would have done or what changes you would make. It is over, learn from your mistakes, cherish the memories and live life right now. Also don’t spend all of your time waiting and wishing for what will come next. Plan and prepare to be successful but live the life that is right now. Don’t let opportunities pass by and take time to truly enjoy the people and experiences. This will be the only chance you get at it, live life.

OK, I will quit for now before I get too clichéd or sappy. I know nothing we have ever done in life will prepare us and especially Ike for the upcoming week. I am looking forward to it, all be it with a little apprehension. In the end, we will go through this transition, ready or not so we might as well enjoy the ride. I am proud of the young adult Ike has become, and I cannot wait to see what the future holds. However, I will heed my own advice and enjoy this graduation week to the fullest.

Victories Aren't Always Won

Being a parent isn’t easy and being a parent of a teenager is something akin to being a climber on Mount Everest. It’s difficult, dangerous and often you need more oxygen but once in a while you just have to sit back and enjoy the view and wonder how you got there. Most often your teens frustrate you but just when you think there is no hope they blindside you with something really good.

Last year Ike set his sights on becoming a District FFA officer. The district banquet was marked on our calendar and the goal of becoming an officer started to take shape. Often it was the topic of conversation at the dinner table or long car rides (the only time teens seem to be able to have conversations with their parents.). It was something he very much wanted and a goal I saw him focus on like nothing I have ever seen him do before.

He spent many hours painstakingly filling out the application and had me look it over. After it was submitted he began to work on his speech with the help of his advisor and student teacher. Soon the elections became the focus of most of his time and energy. Many hours were spent going over his speech and practicing it. By the day of the elections I think I could have given his speech without notecards. When the day finally came he was as ready and, more importantly, as organized for it anything I have ever seen him do. He had really thrown himself into the elections, we were all very excited.

The day came and he, his advisor and a fellow chapter officer also running for district officer left after lunch for the interviews and eventually the banquet and the elections. Jennifer and I left later that afternoon to attend the banquet, on the drive to Sabetha his speech kept running through my mind. I even thought if he lost his place I could shout out the next word, although I was sure that would be frowned upon.

One of the hardest things I have ever had to do as a parent was wait. It is hard to wait for your child to show their animal at the fair, it is hard to wait for their next at bat at a ballgame and it is hard to wait for results of a contest. Finally I couldn’t take the waiting anymore and I sent a text to his advisor. The responding text was not what I wanted to see. He had not made the slate and would not get to give his highly polished speech, needless to say Jennifer and I were very disappointed for him and we wondered how he was doing.

Cautiously I sent a text to his advisor asking how he was doing. The answer came back that he was taking it very well, disappointed but taking it well. Soon, Jennifer got a text from Ike saying he had not made the slate. She sent a message back and asked how he was doing. His reply was that he was OK and disappointed but there was no point in being down about it. Life would go on.

I have often said you can tell more about the character of a person when things don’t go well and when they are disappointed. Ike met us at the door, he was cheerful and once again said while he was disappointed he would be fine and he would focus on his next goal, a state degree. I must say I was awfully proud of him as I watched him interact with his friends from his chapter and from other schools. He was cheerful, encouraging and upbeat; Jennifer and I knew the amount of work and effort he had put into this endeavor and he had every right to be upset, pouty and sulk.

That was one of those moments as a parent when you think, maybe, just maybe we got something right. Just like the mountain climber on Everest it was time to sit on the cliff, let our legs dangle over the side and enjoy the view. After all the much dreaded and highly anticipated senior year is right ahead of us and the climb looks to be straight up. But for right now the view is awesome. Now where is that oxygen.