Farm Birthdays

When I started a column I first put the date on the top of the page. That was when I noticed that my birthday is coming up next week. To be honest I had not thought about next week being my birthday, I guess I have reached the point in my life where birthdays just aren’t that important anymore. Don’t get me wrong, they are important from the standpoint that you want to make sure you have them, but they just don’t have much significance anymore.

When you are a farm kid and your birthday is in the fall during harvest you get used to your birthday not being a real big deal. I know, I was really abused. Sure, Mom made my favorite meal and I got a birthday cake, but I only had one party in my whole life and it ended when I accidentally ran over my buddy Gus with my bike. Of course, that would never have happened if I had gotten the new bike I asked for as a birthday present.

Its funny how things change over the years. Back when I was a kid I was upset if we were harvesting during my birthday. Now I will be thrilled if I am in the field picking corn next week, and I can’t think of a better present than a good day free of break downs. I guess it is all about perspective, that and who is paying the bills. Life and birthdays were much easier when I was a kid. I wonder why I was so excited about turning eighteen and becoming an adult.

I have gone past all the birthdays we look forward to, eighteen and twenty-one and have started into the birthdays where they are simply a reminder that I have another tally mark on the door jam of geezerhood. At least this birthday doesn’t end with a zero or five and a public reminder that I am approaching ancient.

My next anticipated birthday would be sixty-five and that is many years away and even then, I am not sure if I should be excited. I am sure that the government will move the start date for Social Security back farther. It might be a carrot on the end of a stick for me, dangling out there always just out of reach. I view retirement as a mythic concept like global peace, nice ideas that will never really happen.

When it comes to presents I guess I have reached the point where generally I have bought it if I need it. If the item is a want and not a need, then those buying my birthday presents probably can’t afford it. I also have two kids in college and I would rather they just save their money and spend it on their tuition and we all get more benefit out of it. The truth of the matter is that I am no different than anyone else and I appreciate presents and the thought behind them, it does mean someone cares.

I do look forward to my birthday meal with great anticipation. Yes, I am old and sadly enough, often the next meal is what I am looking forward to the most. That is probably why I look like I do should find other things that peak my interest. No matter why, the thing I look forward to the most about birthdays is the meal. Yes, in part because it often includes some of my favorite foods but also because it is a time that we as a family do eat together. This is the first birthday as empty nesters, so it might also be an excuse for date night, which would be good too.

No matter the circumstances, what is going on or what my plans might end up being, it will be my birthday and there is no getting around that or putting it off. It is a good time for self-reflection and being mindful of all the blessings I have in my life. Is my life perfect? No, but it is better than I deserve, and I am an awfully lucky guy.  I have two smart kids doing well in college, a great wife who puts up with me and I go to work at my dream job every day. It probably doesn’t get any better than that.

While it is true that I am at the point in my life that birthdays don’t have the same appeal as they once did, they are still important. They mean you have survived another year, enjoyed some good moments and learned from some challenges. That year was spent with family and friends and that time cannot be measured. Yes, they are a sign of getting older but there is only one way you don’t have another birthday and I am having too much fun for that. So, pass the cake and ice cream because I am old and need to make sure I have enough energy for another year.

Thoughts From My Birthday

Today is my birthday. Not too many years ago that would have been written with an exclamation point. Isn’t it funny how when we were young our birthdays were second only to Christmas, then as we get older it fades away into just another day. Oh sure, there are important birthdays like 16 (well now 17) when you get your driver’s license, 18 and adulthood, 21 even more adult privileges, 30 and the last of your insurance breaks. I suppose all of those birthdays that end in a zero are also important milestones but really all of the important birthdays end at 30.

I remember what birthdays were like as a kid. All of the anticipation of what you might get for a present, what kind of cake you wanted and most importantly what treat you were going to take to school. Yes, I grew up in the days of taking candy or some other sugary treat for your birthday. That practice that is now frowned upon in some schools and classrooms because of the health implications and the policy in those places is strictly enforced by the fun police. For the record, my candy of choice was M&Ms, they were plain because I think I pre-date the peanut variety.

The cake was another difficult decision. There were so many choices and only one time that I got to pick. I think I almost always went with the chocolate variety.  Mom wasn’t much on decorating or frosting cakes, but for this special occasion she made frosting and decorated. OK, so the decorations on every birthday cake at our house were the same plastic circus train, I am not sure where it came from but it made two appearances a year at our house.

We also got to pick our birthday dinner and that was not nearly such a hard choice. In my early childhood it was my Mom’s homemade pizza. She made pizza with square corners long before Little Caesars. It was out of necessity because Mom made her pizza on a cookie sheet. As I got older, I got worldlier and changed my request to steak. By the way, my standing birthday dinner order remains steak to this day.

Birthday parties weren’t an expectation at our house when I was growing up. My birthday is the end of September and my sister’s is the middle of October. You learn early as a farm kid that the farm always has the priority. I only had one party and it came to a screeching halt (pun intended) when I ran over my friend Gus with my bicycle (no brakes and a game of tag is not a good idea). Later on Mom admitted that she was not too keen on the idea of a birthday party and the bicycle incident only re-enforced that idea (a concept I fully understood after hosting birthday parties for my kids). Our birthday celebrations were usually quick dinners wedged in during harvest or wheat drilling.

I left the whole birthday present thing until last. Honestly, I can’t remember a single thing that I got for my birthday. Don’t worry, we always got a present and it was usually something fun that we had asked for, but I really don’t recall exactly what any of the presents were. All I remember was that it was my day and I was the only one who got presents. I do know that we only got one present from Mom and Dad and we appreciated it.

Fast forward to the present day, my birthday is still a really good day. My daughter got up early to cook breakfast for me and plans on baking a birthday cake for me later on. I am sure my wife is planning a steak dinner for this evening and I got a couple of great meaningful gifts. But to be honest, the best gift I could get today would be to start harvest. Sometimes I hate being an adult.

Maybe it is sad that our birthday goes from being one of the two or three best days of the year to just another day. Sure, every ten years is that “special” birthday when everyone pokes fun at your age and make sure the whole world knows how old you are. I guess in retrospect while birthdays may not be such a big deal when you get to be an adult, they are still important. After all it is a day to reflect on all the good memories and blessings in our lives that came in the past year. It is also a day to look forward and wonder what the next 364 days might hold.