2017 a Moving Year

By the time you read this 2017 will nearly be in the books and 2018 looms on the near horizon. That does not even seem possible, it wasn’t that long ago that 2018 seemed like a lifetime away and now it is this year. It is true that the older you get the faster time goes by, that is kind of scary. In any case, 2017 is nearly in the rearview mirror.

Personally speaking, 2017 was one heck of a year. Last year I could never have imagined what kind of wild ride 2017 was going to take us on. We were comfortably settled in our “forever” house, the one the kids were going to have to move me out of when I went into the home or “home”. One thing 2017 did was to teach me to never say never. Less than a month before we bought the new place, I made fun of a friend who was moving and said I would never do that again. In less than a month I was negotiating on our house and eating crow.

It is funny how moving can change your perspective on things. Maybe it was going through everything and all the memories that stirred up. At some point this year I came to the realization that my kids were no longer children buy young adults and contributing members of society. Despite my parenting blunders they seem to have turned out just fine. I suppose there is some comfort in that, but it is disconcerting to suddenly realize that their childhood is behind them. Much like Christmas coming and going each year, I have the unsettling feeling of having missed something.

I am not sure if it is a good thing, but it is bittersweet to walk out of a house leaving it just as empty as the day you bought it and moved in. In that last pass through of the house you see all the scars on the walls evidence that life was lived, and memories were made there. The last time I was in the house I was there by myself and I swear I could hear the kids echoing through the rooms. I admit I am sentimental and this whole year has been one of difficult transitions for me. The week before the closing on the old house Tatum wanted to go back one last time for some closure. I couldn’t admit it to her at the time, but I just could not go back.

Don’t get me wrong, this year has been one of the best of my life also. Yes, moving was hard and traumatic but it was also exciting and one of the best things I have ever done. The new house feels more like home and my life is dramatically easier. There are times I miss the “alone time” I had when I commuted back and forth, but those times are very few and I enjoy the extra hour I have much more. This past week I finally got my pens done, animals situated, and I could take a deep breath, reflect and give thanks.

Yes, 2017 was one heck of a ride. We had our successes and our setbacks and, in the end, lived to tell about them. Survive and move on, that seems to be my goal each year. This was a year of the highest highs and the lowest lows but one that we will, undoubtedly remember forever. Events beyond my own farm, community and little piece of the world were exciting, entertaining, troubling, unsettling and unpredictable. The only thing I am sure of is that I am unsure of what might happen.

I do know this. Last night I walked out of the house to check the ewes and as I leaned up against the fence and observed something. I felt a comfort, a peace and a satisfaction that I had never felt before. Maybe it is just getting older and coming to the realization that I should be satisfied with my life. Could it be that I have finally learned that no matter what you have, life goes by too quick and instead of worrying about what we don’t have we should appreciate what we have been given. Life and all the things we hold near and dear are gifts and we should treat them as such, enjoying them, savoring each moment and spending less time fretting.

No, I have no idea what 2018 will bring. I really hope it is not as exciting or challenging as this past year, but I suspect it will hold its own surprises. It is probably a good thing we cannot see into the future and know what is coming. I am just glad that I had a moment of time to step back and reflect on this crazy past year before I buckled my seatbelt in anticipation of the rollercoaster up ahead. Bring on the new year, I am as ready as I will ever be.