Dear Glenn

Occasionally (like every 10 years) a reader will ask me for some advice. While I must admit that it is tempting to start a Dear Abby for farmers and ranchers, it really isn’t my style However, this past week I got a question from a reader that really was a cry for help and I felt compelled to answer it. I assume this reader is a novice shepherd and sees me as a sort of mentor. Her question is a very basic one and it might be of some help to everyone else, so I thought I would share my answer.

The question went something like this: Dear Mr. Brunkow, Sir; I am new the sheep business and I have often heard you say it is bad luck to wash your coveralls during lambing season. My coveralls are quite soiled, smell badly and have a rip in them. Is it OK to wash them and mend the hole? I hope so because I don’t think I can take two more months of this. My family has disowned me, and my friends are shunning me. Sincerely yours, Julie S.

Well, Julie the simple answer is no, you cannot wash your coveralls and mend them. Doing so would jeopardize your whole lambing season and maybe the future of the entire free world. OK so that last statement might be a little strong, but I assure you that my non-washing of coveralls during lambing and calving season is based on years of experience and most of that experience was bad. I am just trying to save you from the pain and heartbreak that I have suffered.

First my reasoning for not washing my coveralls is a practical one. I promise that within minutes of washing and mending your coveralls you will find yourself in an emergency that will result in your bibs being even more soiled and shredded that they were before you washed them. At that point the washing is in vain and you have wasted water. We sheep herders are an environmentally consciences bunch and wasting water is something we just don’t do. In the same line of thought, you might want to start cutting back on daily bathing also. It won’t affect you socially and it will give you an extra few minutes each day to spend with your sheep.

I do feel your pain when it comes to being a social outcast. The life of a sheep herder is one of solitude and not for the weak of spirit. Family and friends will not understand your lifestyle. When you are feeling lonely just remember God loves shepherds and he invited them to the manger first. It is a good thing God loves us because no one else does and it should be noted that the biggest social event we were ever invited too was in a stable full of animals. You will find that by the end of lambing season you really don’t mind being alone.

Let me also assure you that the smell and ragged look will eventually grow on you. No, that is not a figure of speech, your chore clothes will become a living breathing organism and start growing on you. Look on the positive side, in a couple of weeks your clothes will not be the scariest thing about your appearance. Soon the wild look in your eyes highlighted by the bags will only be offset by the tangled mess of hair above them and beard below. In short you will look like something small children have nightmares about being under their beds. Trolls will take one look at you and cross the street.

The life of a sheep rancher is not an easy one and not everyone is cut out for it. Sure, it sounds like a free and easy lifestyle complete with cute little lambs. Hollywood has glamourized our image with clean coveralls and good personal hygiene, the real world is very different from the fairytale images of Mary and Bo Peep.

I hope I have not discouraged your interest in sheep, raising them is really a very noble thing, I just wanted, you to know the whole truth and that begins with washing your coveralls during lambing season. True shepherds understand the importance of coveralls that standup on their own and come to you when you whistle. Those of us truly immersed in the sheep lifestyle value the solitude and peacefulness a life without friends and family affords us. In fact, some of my most creative moments have come after three months of muck and mud, little sleep and ill-mannered sheep.

This answer can also be applied to cattle ranchers, pig farmers, chicken producers and anyone else with livestock. I promise you that the cornerstone to success in the livestock business is not washing your coveralls. Julie, if you follow my advice (and I suspect you are) you will have a long successful career as a shepherd.