Farmer O My Valentine

As I sat down to write my column for this week, I wondered just what I was going to write about this week. I started by putting the date of publication down on the top of the page and that is when the lights and sirens went off. Much to my amazement and chagrin, the date was February 13, or the day before Valentine’s Day. Better known as the mad scramble, order roses at any cost, how did I let this day sneak up on me day.

I admit it, I am not much of a romantic. Jennifer would say that is a huge understatement, much like saying the Grand Canyon is a good example of erosion. I guess that is the advantage to a short courtship, I had her hooked before she knew the truth. However, in my defense (which there really is none) I don’t think I am much different than any other guy, especially the farmer/rancher type. Some might call it cheap, I call it rustic frugal. Here is how I see romance (make sure you remind Jennifer just how lucky she is).

Long walks on the beach are for girly men. I prefer predawn strolls down to the lambing barn or late-night checks on the heifer pen the frostier the better. What could be more romantic than checking for new lambs or calves. People pay to see that kind of cuteness (I am talking about the animals and not myself, but I can see how it might be confusing) and every lucky farmwife gets all that cuteness for free (again, I am talking about the animals).

The chariot for that romantic ride around the farm is that one-of-a-kind, feed truck. How romantic is a feed truck you ask? It encourages chivalry. Every time we are out in our feed pickup I always open and close the door for Jennifer Yes, the door handles are broken, and you must know how to shut the door but those are minor details. It also encourages snuggling. Again, I realize that is because the heater doesn’t work but we are trying to be positive here. Finally, as a farm/ranch wife you should feel good knowing that your husband feels comfortable enough not to put on airs with a clean pickup. Feel confident knowing that he can be himself when he is around you.

Speaking of that man. We farmers/ranchers see ourselves as the rugged, independent, manly types. Alone on the range, kings of all we survey what is more romantic than that. Sure, we need a haircut, beard trim, clothes washing and probably a shower but here we are in all our masculinity. We could have our hair styled, our faces shaven and our clothes pressed but where is the romance in that?

Anyone can do the same old candlelight dinner, wine, roses and jewelry. What is not romantic about a night at home with a homecooked meal. Yes, I suppose we could do the cooking, but do you really want to eat our cooking? Even I must admit that there is nothing romantic about meat and taters or eggs and pancakes. Here again, take solace in knowing that we love everything about you, even your cooking. By not going out on the town we are saving you the hassle and inconvenience of getting all made up and having to dress up. We aren’t cheap, we just love you as you are and don’t want to share you with the world.

As for gifts, I guess there isn’t anything wrong with flowers, candy or jewelry, if you are into that kind of thing (if you have been a farmer’s or rancher’s wife for very long you probably aren’t). Real love is a gift of something much more substantial like a new bull or a set of jumper cables. Nothing says I love you more than not wanting your sweetheart to be stranded with a dead battery. Yes, we ag types sure know how to lavish our sweethearts when it comes to expensive gifts, a good bull costs several thousand dollars after all.

OK, ok, ok I guess it is time to come clean and fess up. I am rotten at the whole romance thing and I am the world’s worst at gift giving. I know that comes as a shock after reading the last few paragraphs. The truth is that I am so lucky that Jennifer is a tolerant woman with low expectations. I am not sure why she puts up with my short comings, but I thank the Lord every day that she does.

Like every farmer and rancher, I am so blessed that I found someone who spends nearly every free moment working alongside of me when I know there is so much more she really wants to do. I am so lucky to have a partner who understands that we need another ram instead of something shinier and fun. I will make some lame attempt to so her just how much I love her and how much she means to me, but it will never be truly enough. In the end, I guess that is a little romantic or at least I hope so.