Failure to Prepare

The worst feeling in the world is that feeling of being overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done and not knowing where to start. Yeah, you guessed it, I am at that very point right now. In a couple of days, I will leave for five days and I am leaving Jennifer with a bunch of chores and many very pregnant ewes. I have all these great ideas of how to make things easier for her while I am gone and chores that need to be done before I leave, the list is long and daunting.

I have often said that the hardest part of leaving is the week before you go, and the hardest part of any journey is while the mailbox is still in your rearview mirror. So many details to attend to and all those loose ends to tie up. It seems like the harder I go the farther I get behind. Then there are those quiet moments, usually when I should be asleep, that I think of more things to add to the growing list. It’s a good thing I don’t have to get my blood pressure checked.

I know that Jennifer is a better hand than I am and that we are generally in better shape when she is in charge, especially during lambing season. The main problem is that what makes sense to me doesn’t necessarily make sense to her. Little things like where I keep the fencing pliers and the extra insulators for the electric fence. How often to rotate and charge the batteries on the electric fences, or the better question might be why we don’t have more solar fencers.

Then there are the logistics of everything. Did I get enough feed to get her through the time I am gone? Again, I am not sure why I am so worried about such questions because Jennifer has proven time and time again that she is more capable than I am. In any case, my goal is to make her time doing chores solo as stress free as I can. Try as I might, usually I do not do such a great job.

I can plan and scheme all I want but the sad truth is that the wheels will come off something while I am gone. I am not sure any calamity will top the time I was in Washington D.C. and the cows decided to get out in the middle of the night, into the timber when it was really cold. Both kids were relatively young and in car seats. Jennifer called me while chasing cows, in the cold, dark night through the timber. It is probably a miracle I ever got to go anywhere after that.

It is a good thing I married above my talent level and that I have such a great wife. I am also lucky that she tolerates me, secretly I think she enjoys trying to solve my problems and straighten out my messes while I am gone. Deep down I think she relishes the challenge, and she would be disappointed if I had everything in order. I didn’t say it was a good theory, but it makes me feel better and I am sticking to it.

I am not sure how I will ever repay her for allowing me to be gone and do my thing while she is home putting out fires and cleaning up messes. I would say I would buy her something nice while I am gone but over the past twenty-three years, I have topped myself time and time again at being the worst gift giver ever.

For the next three days I will be checking and rechecking my ever-growing list of chores and tasks that need to be done before I leave. It seems like I add more things than I eliminate. Do I have enough medicine, syringes and needles? More importantly will Jennifer be able to find them when she needs them? All good questions and the answer are, probably not. This will spawn one of those awkward phone calls where I do my best to explain where something is in terms only, I can understand. Something like, “the penicillin is next to the vaccine that needs to be thrown out. No, not the empty bottle, the full one is next to the empty egg carton and on the shelf below the two eggs. No, I don’t know why I didn’t put the two eggs in the carton but that is where it is at.”

I guess the bottom line is that it is a good thing I married someone better than me who is tolerant enough to but up with me and stubborn enough not to give up. I am sure that I will have a whole lot I will have to make up for when I get back and that will probably last until the next time I must be gone. At which time I will once again be scrambling to get things ready. There is a special place in heaven for farm wives.