Anniversary Fail

To say that I have never been the romantic type is probably an understatement. I freely admit that gift giving is something that doesn’t come very easy to me and thank goodness that Jennifer is willing to overlook this minor defect in my personality. To be honest I probably used up all my romantic ideas in the first month or so of our courtship. After all I am the guy who sent her balloons and red hots for our first Valentine’s Day. I told you I was bad at the whole romantic notions’ thing.

However, this year I out did myself when it came to our anniversary. I knew it was November, I just didn’t think it was the middle of November yet. In my defense with the late harvest I have been more distracted and absent minded than usual (and that is saying something). That is why I was shocked when our daughter reminded me on Saturday that our anniversary was on Sunday.

What was I going to do? At this point I couldn’t get away to get a present or even a card, I was caught. The only thing left to do was to just man up and admit my failure. A friend once told me that the secret to a happy marriage was the phrase, “I am a man; therefore, I am wrong, and I am sorry.’ Never were more true words spoken and never have they been put to the test like they were for my anniversary.

I guess I failed to mention that not only had I not done anything for our anniversary, but I had made plans to wean calves and vaccinate them (after going to church that morning, of course). I had the help all lined up, there was no going back on it. That meant going out for dinner was out of the question and it was on Sunday so having flowers sent to her work was also not going to happen. Things were looking bad for the home team.

Sunday morning came, and Tatum wished us a Happy Anniversary and asked Jennifer what I got her. Jennifer thought about it for a minute and pointed at the three new, shiny, red feed bunks in the yard and said, “I guess that is what I am getting this year.” She went on to explain that with all the craziness of this fall and things being backed up that she had not gotten me anything for our anniversary either.

Its funny how often I am reminded of how lucky I am to have a wife that tolerates all my shortcomings and accepts me for who I am. I am sure that working calves and getting feed bunks were quite a way down her anniversary wish list, but she went about the day like that was exactly what she wanted and where she wanted to be. I guess the easy answer is that the life of a farm or ranch couple is like that, no matter what the calendar says, work must come first.

Maybe the fact that I realized and worried about my lack of anything special for our anniversary was enough. I guess over the past twenty plus years, Jennifer has learned that it is the thought that counts. I don’t profess to be an expert on anyone else’s marriage and I would be a terrible counselor, but I do think that I have learned a little bit. Gifts and nights out on the town are important but its not what makes a marriage strong.

Working side by side to build something, making a life together and sharing in the ups and downs are what makes our marriage work. I know I frustrate Jennifer to no end and the disappointments are many, but she takes it all in stride and for that I am the one who is blessed. While she deserves so much better than feed bunks and a date working calves, I am not sure she would have it any other way.

I intend to make it all up, when and if this harvest ever gets done and we finally get all the cows out on stalks. In the end, it probably ended up being one of the best anniversaries we have had. The weather was great, the cattle working went smooth and both kids were home to help. To top it off the feed bunks worked magnificently, and the calves loved them. Most importantly I was reminded of how lucky I am.

As a side not, whether I out did myself, however, is up for debate. I have gone on from the balloon and red-hot debacle to achieve some awesome failures when it comes to holidays and romantic moments. Feed bunks for an anniversary present is a doozy, except there was the Mother’s Day that we sheared sheep. That one is hard to top.